Stress affects both the mind and the body in the most detrimental ways possible. It can force someone into a total mental breakdown and destroy them mentally and it can cause the immune system to virtually shut down, inviting in all sorts of disease, including cancer. We said it before in this workbook and we will continue to say that stress is a killer. The mind goes through much turmoil when it comes to stress. No matter if the stress is self induced or is an outside stressor, the mind will end up shutting down emotionally so that it can cope with the constant stress. A person who is lively and active may become withdrawn when they are over stressed. This is because the mind can only handle a certain amount of stimulation at a time. When your body is over stressed, your mind will not be able to cope so it
will shut down. Eventually, stress will take its toll on you to the point where you cannot get up out of bed in the
morning. You may be afraid to get up and leave the house. You may suffer from both anxiety and depression. You will eventually have to see a doctor or, in the worst case scenario, have to check into a hospital for treatment. The first thing that you will notice is the impact of stress on your body. You may feel your heart beating faster than normal and also feel that you are snapping at people more often. You may feel rushed or under pressure all of the time and feel that there is no way out. You may experience panic as many people who undergo severe stress do. A panic attack has
symptoms that are very similar to a heart attack. As a matter of fact, many people who have a panic attack wind up in the hospital thinking that they are having a heart attack. Your heart will be pounding, your ears ringing and your palms sweating. You may have trouble breathing and feel as though someone is standing on your chest. You may also feel dizzy or faint. All of these are signs of both heart attack and panic attack. When someone has a panic attack, they are
often surprised to learn that there is nothing wrong with their heart. The mind goes through much turmoil when it
comes to stress. No matter if the stress is self induced or is an outside stressor, the mind will end up shutting down emotionally so that it can cope with the constant stress. A person who is lively and active may become withdrawn when they are over stressed. This is because the mind can only handle a certain amount of stimulation at a time. When your body is over stressed, your mind will not be able to cope so it will shut down.
Eventually, stress will take its toll on you to the point where you cannot get up out of bed in the morning. You may be afraid to get up and leave the house. You may suffer from both anxiety and depression. You will eventually have to see a doctor or, in the worst case scenario, have to check into a hospital for treatment. As for the body, stress will wear you down to the point where your immune system is not functional. You will find that you are getting more colds and are sicker more often because of the stress. Many in the medical community link stress to a host of different disease, including cancer. You need to have lucid techniques to handle your stress if you are to be emotionally
competent and be able to live a healthy life.

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Many people get assertiveness mixed up with being aggressive. This is not the case. It is always good to be assertive. Being assertive is a positive attribute in a human being. Being aggressive is negative. Being assertive means that you are able to effectively communicate your needs to other people, listen to their needs and resolve conflict without compromising your core beliefs and values. People who are assertive are usually self confident and are those who end up getting what they want out of life. If you want to build assertiveness, you have to be aware of the type of personality that you are currently reflecting as well as your communication style. Are you aggressive? This means that you have to tone down the aggression to be more positive. Assertiveness not only means that you are able to effectively communicate to others, but also that you have respect for other individuals and especially yourself.

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Conflict will occur when you do not have respect for the other feelings of another individual or when they do not have respect for you. You can try to deflect conflict by using positive communication skills as discussed in this book. You will know when you are in conflict as it will consist of unproductive, negative communication. If conflict can be briefly defined – that is the perfect definition. While there is good conflict, negative conflict is defined by negative communication. If it continues, it can keep on escalating. Not too many people are happy when they are embroiled in a conflict. While some seem to thrive on drama, they are usually very unhappy people who suffer from an inferiority complex and need to be the center of attention. For the most part, people try to avoid conflict. How do you identify and resolve conflict? For an exercise, try to think of the last time you experienced conflict in your life. It can be something trivial or a major conflict at work or home. Do you remember the events that led up to the conflict? Could you have stopped the conflict before it escalated? How long did the conflict continue? How did you feel while you were experiencing the conflict? Did you feel helpless and want it to end, or did it make you feel energized? How did the conflict end? Was it a positive ending? Who made the first move to end the conflict or was this accomplished by a mediator? Try to imagine yourself in a conflict with a friend, significant other or colleague. Do you see any
situation in the near future where you may have some sort of conflict? Are the warning signs there? Can you think of how you would like the conflict to end? Do you know of any techniques that you can use to diffuse the conflict? How do you think these will work? Whenever there is a storm brewing, it is often human nature to go somewhere safe and wait it out. A conflict is like a storm, but instead of hiding out, you are better off to prepare for the storm

Conflict—what is it—Conflict resolution techniques

It is important for everyone to have conflict resolution techniques. Conflict is sometimes needed to clear the air. As much as you try, you will not be able to avoid every situation that involves conflict. But you can try to resolve conflict without it causing too much damage. Conflict takes its toll on us both mentally and physically.

When you are stressed out, you are not aware of what is going on around you. You feel that it is all you can do to get through the day and to the next day. Stress can make you feel as though you are just existing, instead of living. You will wake up in the morning scared and anxious and go to bed the same way. This takes it toll on you every single day. Stress is a killer. It is very important to be emotionally aware of what is going on in your life and in the lives of others. In order to be an emotionally competent person, you have to be emotionally aware. But when you are under a great deal of stress, this can be almost impossible to do. You will feel as though you can only focus on one thing and that is whatever it is that is stressing you out.

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Are you the type of person who feels as though they have to be in control of every conversation? Do you have a different type of conversation style with your boss than you do with your contemporaries? Perhaps it is time for you to let go of control and start to communicate with other individuals in a respectful manner. If you constantly feel as though you have to be in control of the conversation at all times, how do you think it makes the other person or people with whom you are talking feel? Chances are that it makes them feel pretty insignificant as if their thoughts and feelings do not matter. They mayeven be intimidated by your control tactics into remaining silent. This is not good for anyoneinvolved. How are you supposed to have a relationship with anyone if you have no idea what they are thinking?

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In order to be emotionally competent, you need to be aware of the needs of others as well as yourself. Before you can use techniques to build greater awareness, ask yourself honestly if you are selfish or selfless. Selfish people are those who cannot consider the feelings of someone else. They can only think of their own feelings, like infants. They are usually called out for being selfish and may have trouble with all types of relationships – including personal and business relationships.  If you fall between the two opposites, you most likely have to build awareness about other people as well as yourself.