ANGER ON MY MIND

Emotional Vocabulary

Posted on: May 5, 2007

  Emotional intelligence is the new buzz phrase. I continue to read “When Anger Hurts” and in the current chapter the author contends that it is stress that is directly linked to explosive anger. This idea got me to thinking about my own views about the origins of anger. My work with several clients’ young and old have revealed that emotional intelligence too has a major link to anger management. Specifically language or an “emotional vocabulary” is essential in helping individuals recognize how they really feel and thus are able to meet that need without resorting to anger. For example a person who recognizes that they are hurt can do little to describe how they really feel without a good emotional vocabulary. That is like going to a doctor and saying you have pain. With training and experience the doctor is able to define the pain. In the same way an emotionally intelligent persons can instead of saying that they are hurt can define the specific emotion-rejected, dejected, humiliated etc. Understanding and defining the true emotions can with training lead to seeking better communication skills, stress management and open and trusting relationships. This improvement in our emotional vocabulary can do much to curb incidences of explode anger.Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

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