ANGER ON MY MIND

The noise of anger

Posted on: May 5, 2007

The noise of anger

                                                       

Have you ever driven down a road you did not know? Remember how confusing it was to have no sense of direction. Ahhhhh…the relief when you experience when you discover a familiar street. All of a sudden you had context again and you were clear about how to find your way to your destination. Lacking the language to express your emotions is like being lost or an emotional noise. This kind of mental chaos leads to a desire to explode simply because we lack the ability to define and take control of how we feel. However, when a person learns an emotional vocabulary they now have context, direction and the ability to express their emotions in an effective manner. This idea is at the core of the Anderson anger management model.

Take for example, a man who is fired from his job after being there for ten years. His wife reports that he is angry all the time and is causing significant conflict at home. The questions is–Do we address his anger or the deeper emotions that drive the anger? He is caught up in a spiral of negativity which is destructive to him and his family. The goal of anger management and by extension emotional intelligence training is to help this man become aware of his true emotions (not the anger), own them and take action to improve the quality of his life. The outward expression is rage but the true feelings may include betrayal, suspicion, mistrust, poor motivation, feeling duped etc. The goal or anger management in this case would be to increase personal responsibility and action towards improving self. Otherwise, inappropriate anger tends to shift blame and produce inertia.  Therefore, another goal of anger management is to produce actions that would improve this unemployed man’s relationships and motivate him to seek future employment. For an anger management provider trained in the world renowned Anderson and Anderson model in your area visit www.anger-managment-resources.org.        

 

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

www.angerhurts.com

www.angeronmymind.com          

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