Archive for July 2007

In the face of an annoying situation it is easy to say he/she made me do it. One looks at the other person as the source of all your anger. Whether it is for a few minutes or a life time an individual can focus on another human and blame them for every ounce of rage that they hold. This perspective on anger is easy but highly destructive. This approach is void of personal responsibility and allows the angry party to focus their attention away from themselves. Destruction comes when the angry party begins to feel justified enough to deliver angry words or physical aggression to the other person.

Anger management is about personal responsibility. No matter what comes at us we are responsible for our reaction to that situation. In anger management class an individual learns how to deal with faulty perceptions and take responsibility for his/her own emotions and actions. Learning this skill will help to shift blame and increase personal responsibility. If you tend to shift blame and not taking responsibility as part of your pattern of anger you should seek help.

Anger management programs should include anger management, stress management, emotional intelligence and communication skills. To find a provider in your area visit

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC




No matter how many years I practice as a mental health professional I am stuck that it is my clients that teach me the most about life. I have known for a long time that anger is learned and hence can be unlearned but some years ago one of my clients took the brave step to search out the truth about where her anger originated. This story has stayed in my mind until today. This client decided to confront her aunt who raised her and who she knew was the source of her anger. She used the communication skills she learned in anger management class to ask her where her anger came from and in a rare moment of familial vulnerability this aunt told of her learned aggressiveness from her mother.

In an instant this client described fearing that her children would be fourth generation prone to anger. She realized that it was her responsibility to stop this trend before it became a reality for her children. Anger management classes from that point was no longer only about her but became more about her family legacy. If you or a loved one have an anger management problem contact Carlos Todd today at 704-804-0841 or


Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC


If one comes across a person who has been shot by an arrow, one does not spend time wondering where the arrow came from, or the cast of the individual who shot it, or analyzing what type of wood the shaft is made of, or the manner is which the arrowhead was fashioned. Rather, one should focus on immediately pulling out the arrow.

–Shayyammuni, the Buddha


It is a popular notion in some anger management programs to focus on identifying the ‘triggers’ which may cause a person to behave angrily. It is common to observe in anger management process groups, participants explaining how someone “pushed my button”.

This notion takes away the responsibility of the angry perpetrators responsibility for his or her aggression and or violence. We are responsible for our own behavior regardless of the circumstances.


Rather than focusing on the cause of ones anger, it is far more productive to learn to recognize the initial signs of irritation, frustration, discomfort or whatever other emotions precede your anger, labeling these feelings and developing tools to stop the anger from becoming destructive to you or someone else.


While assessments are useful in anger management intervention, rarely is it worthwhile to examine “triggers or buttons” which may lead to anger. Think of a Juke Box, if you push the button for a particular tune and something else plays, over time you will give up pushing that button because you do not hear the tune which you expected. Similarly, if the person who is responding to the “triggers” ceases to respond, that issue is close to resolution.


Anger management assessments should assess for anger, stress, assertive communication and emotional intelligence. Skill enhancement in these four areas should be taught in all anger management classes.


George Anderson, MSW, BCD

When it comes to professional anger management, Anderson & Anderson and its international network of providers are the predominant sources of help. The Anderson & Anderson website,, is by far the most popular anger management site on the worldwide web. 

Regardless of the key words used, it is the Anderson & Anderson website, and the websites of Anderson & Anderson anger management providers, which will appear in each search. This status did not occur accidentally nor randomly. It was earned over time, based on the high level of the anger management/executive coaching services and products offered. 

Anderson & Anderson offers a forty hour Facilitator Certification Training in Anger Management. This Certification is the industry standard in anger management worldwide. Supporting client’s workbooks, DVDs, CDs, Videos, Posters and services are available in English and Spanish.

 Anderson & Anderson has now embarked on an aggressive and coordinated campaign with its many providers in efforts to make the Anderson & Anderson curriculum a household brand for all anger management needs in the entire country, as well as all nations abroad. Eventually, the Anderson & Anderson anger management brand will break through cultural and language barriers. Currently, no other anger management program has done this; and, the fact remains that, no other anger management program out there is as structured and effective as the Anderson & Anderson anger management program. 

To become a Certified Anger Management Facilitator, click here: or contact our office at 310-207-3591.


Rasheed Ahmed

Anderson & Anderson

Anger Management Services



1.) Learn and practice optimism for success: see the dough nut, not the hole

To do more than survive – to thrive in a world of accelerating change and uncertainty – we need to respond well to adversity. Optimism is a skill just like listening which can be learned and perfected over time.

  1. Positive self-talk: talk yourself out of defeat

The way we talk to ourselves can and does affect our sense of well-being and our ability to motivate ourselves in the face of challenge. By being optimistic and learning to replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk, this will help to bring about a proactive and creative climate at work and help participants to be proactive and take control of themselves.

  1. The art of letting go: you’ll never be a butterfly if you can’t stop being a caterpillar.

It is important to learn to tackle the essence of coping effectively with change and letting go of old ways of thinking and doing. Challenging existing concepts enables the participants to understand their own resistance to change.

  1. Managing unhealthy anger: you can’t always get what you want

Many people have difficulty managing anger-both their own and other people. Frustrations built up in the fast-changing workplace, where roles are not always well defined and job security no longer exists.

Anger usually results from frustration. Frustration results from feeling unable to control and/or improve their situation. A sense of control is a basic human need. Frustration behaves like an emotional virus, infecting everyone.

  1. Increasing sensitivity: take a look at the emotional landscape

In a stressful work environment, it is easy to ignore the mood and morale of our co-workers. People rarely communicate how they feel. However, being insensitive to the needs and feeling of others makes it hard to gain their support and enthusiasm. The ability to recognize our own feelings and the emotions of those around us is a key step in developing emotional literacy.

Emotional bring people together. Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of the human race. Empathy, Compassion, Cooperation and Forgiveness together have the potential to unite us as people. Out thought may tend to divide us, whereas our emotions, if give the chance, will unite us.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CEAP


The Anderson & Anderson anger management curriculum includes four topics which are intimately related to managing anger and stress. These topics are anger management, stress management, assertive communication and emotional intelligence.

Learn to combine honestly with emotional intelligence to get more of what you want.

Assertive people can be honest and forthright while still showing respect for the feelings of others. Their skills and style of communication earn them respect and cooperation at work and in intimate relationships. Anger management training teaches skill enhancement in how to be more open, honest and direct in communication.


  • An assessment at intake
  • Learning to listen with your heart
  • Practicing no-verbal communication
  • Saying what you mean and meaning what you say
  • Dealing with issues in an emotionally intelligent way
  • Styles of communication

To learn more about the Anderson & Anderson anger management classes and executive coaching, visit our website at

George Anderson, MSW, BCD

Anger Management…

It is not useful for domestic violence cases.
It is not conflict resolution.
It is not psychotherapy or counseling.
It is not a mental health intervention.
It is not a treatment for mental or nervous disorders.
It is not appropriate for men who beat their wives or significant others.
It is not an insurance covered disorder.
It is not for someone who has “gone berserk”
It is not “rehab”
It is not a remedy for racism.
It is not psychotropic medication prescribed by a psychiatrist.
It is not psychoanalysis.
It is not a religious based cure.
It is not designed to teach one how not to get angry.

What is Anger Management?

Anger management is a course specifically designed to teach participants how to recognize the signs of anger, stress and typical styles of communication in themselves and others.
Anger management should always begin with an assessment to determine the participant’s level of functioning in managing anger, stress, communication and emotional intelligence.

Anger management classes teach skills to enhance the day to day management of intense feelings of anger and stress.

Anger management teaches skills in assertive communication and emotional intelligence.
Anger management uses a wide range of activities to increase empathy, compassion as well as effective communication.

Anger management improves self-esteem as well as interpersonal relationships.
Anger management should be made available to students as a routine course in grade school.

Anger management raises the Emotional Intelligence of all motivated participants and therefore should be seen as an opportunity for growth and change.

Emotions including anger are an important aspect of every person. Instead of disconnecting our emotions, anger management focuses on teaching participants to control unhealthy actions.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CEAP
Fellow, American Orthopsychiatric Association
Diplomate, American Asociation of Anger Management Providers

July 2007
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