ANGER ON MY MIND

Archive for August 2007

There is no doubt that anger management is a new but very misunderstood service. As a matter of fact the media has done more to teach the public about anger management than professional anger management providers. This has had negative consequences. It has led the public to believe that anger management is only for those who have explosive tempers. This pervasive public perception has cause those who struggle with everyday issue with anger to avoid the anger management provider because they believe that they will have to sit with “thugs and criminals” in a class. This perception is so much further from the truth.

Luckily the media blitz by Anderson and Anderson, The Anger Management Institute of Texas, Executive and Life Coaching Inc, SB Consulting, Daybreak Services and my organization Todd’s Anger management Solutions is causing a shift in public perception. In addition to those who have been mandated by the court we are now seeing clients from all walks of life who want to deal with their anger in a safe, confidential, and private setting by credible and trained professionals. More encouraging is that theses individuals are returning again and again after the assessment to be seen to address their anger management problems. They are aware that anger can affect their health, productivity, social and work relationships and future prosperity. The fact that these individuals return also suggest that it is worth their time and money to work along with a certified anger management facilitator.

A recent trend is also emerging where the perceived usefulness of anger management has been expanding to couples, executives, public officials, police officers, nurses and organization training. This expansion is another example versatility of globally recognized Anderson and Anderson anger management model.

We as a community of anger management providers welcome these trends and will continue to do all we can to share with the public the development of credible anger management services across the country.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

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The way we appraise (see) our environment at any given time is important in determining how we respond emotionally. If we appraise a situation as a threat, put-down, or an insult, we are more likely to respond with anger. If we appraise a situation positively, our response will be positive. Two people can appraise the same situation differently. Our feelings are very personal and do not follow rules of logic. We can appraise the same situation differently at different times based on our moods, level of stress, and clarity of thought and consequently respond differently.

 

If we are hungry, angry, sad, anxious, pessimistic, optimistic or happy, our style of communication will reflect the predominate feelings which we are experiencing. If we perceive the speaker to be hostile, aggressive, demeaning or in some way negative, we will likely respond in kind. If we perceive the speaker to be compassionate, reasonable and understanding, our response will be assertive, emotionally intelligent and appropriate.

 When angry, our style of communication is more likely to be aggressive, passive aggressive or passive. All of these three styles of communication are ineffective and not likely to lead to a successful resolution of whatever the conflict may be. The only style or communication which is designed to clearly express what we feel and what we need from the listener is assertive communication. 

Communication is one of the four areas of focus in the Anderson & Anderson Anger Management Curriculum. The style of communication which we use at any given time is, to a great extent, determined by our mood, level of stress and how we appraise the situation in which we find ourselves.

 The assertive communicator speaks in a reasonable tone, establishes eye contact with the listener, uses “I” messages, and clearly states his or her needs, feelings and requests. He invites the listener to work towards a mutually satisfactory resolution of the conflict. He consciously influences the listener by his own behavior. He demonstrates skills in emotional intelligence. 

Assertive communication can be mastered by any motivated participant in an anger management course in which anger management, stress management; communication and emotional intelligence enhancement  skills are taught.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF

Fellow, American Orthopsychiatric Association

Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management

www.andersonservices.com

I was asked the other day if  I am not afraid to provide anger management.  My short answer was no.  There is this perception by many that anger management is for the lowest in society who have violent tempers. This is only a perception. I see every day people who call me because they struggle with anger. As a matter of fact only a small fraction of my many client have spent any time in jail, and if they did it was a booking only.

Anger is becoming a increasing problem for people of all walks of life. My goal is to teach skills in communcation, stress management, emotional intelligence and anger management to help clients master anger. This can be done in group or  individually.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

After reading the story of a man who killed his girlfriend after attending a anger management class I just had to comment once again. Anger management is not appropriate for those who are charged with or have a history of DV. As a matter of fact anger management and domestic violence are very different. All individuals who are charged with DV should be seen by those who have special training in DV. This confusion regarding DV and AM persist and as we have seem it can have deadly consequences.

All concerned should be aware that if an individual has been violent in a romantic relationship, anger management is NOT APPROPRIATE.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

CLICK HERE for mandated classes

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina

www.masteringanger.com

I receive a number of calls every day inquiring about anger management. I always take the time to talk to the individual on the other line. During the conversation I always give an introduction to anger management. I tell the caller it’s a class– not counseling– then I ask them in the course of our conversation ask a rhetorical question–Which family member did you learn your angry response from? This question takes the assumption that anger is learned. Some may say that I am bold to ask such a question but the reality is that I have not never been wrong with this presumptuous question.

This is the very reason that anger management is considered a class. In it we teach skills to unlearn what was previously taught.If you struggle with anger I ask you–Which family member did you learn poor anger management from?

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

Rest assured that there is perfectly nothing wrong with getting angry. Your anger was a signal that something was wrong or was violated. Anger is a secondary emotion. You may need to do some examination of your life to determine if there are emotional needs that not meet. Anger is a sign that should not be ignored wise just like it would not be wise to ignore a pain in any part of your body. The good needs is that anger management can lead one to understand the signals that anger is trying to communicate–learning this skill is a first step to mastermastering your anger.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org


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