ANGER ON MY MIND

Archive for September 2007

The prominent Charlotte, North Carolina based Todd’s Anger Management Solutions practice continues to gain acceptance by clients from several demographics. The website www.masteringanger.com  also continues to be visited in increasing numbers.

In the last several months anger management classes and executive  coaching has been provided to physicians, pilots, business owners, homemakers, executives, immigrants, and other individuals from other walks of life.

There is a myth that anger management is only for those mandated by the court. The trend that Todd’s Anger Management Solutions has seen is that many are seeking anger management for self improvement. Clients are often shocked to learn that anger management is a class that teaches anger management, stress management, executive coaching and emotional intelligence 

Clients report that anger management has not only improved their ability to manage anger but has increased self awareness, stress management, outlook on life, increased focus on goals, improved interpersonal relationships, the ability to preempt arguments before they escalate and even a deepened awareness of the meaning in their lives.

All indicators suggest that the public is now aware that anger management is not counseling nor psychotherapy but is a class that can teach far more than just how not to explode.

To contact the most credible anger mangment provider on the east coast visit www.masteringanger.com or call 704-804-0841

 

Anger is a normal human emotion which has driven positive causes in human history while equally kindling destructive forces towards to death and mayhem. Our mission as humans is to master our anger to avoid it destructive consequences and embrace its positive energy.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

www.masteringanger.com

704-804-0841

9/27/07

THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE APPEARED IN THE LONDON SUNDAY TIMES on July 16, 2006:

Look Back at Anger
by Ariel Leve

From seething stars to peeved politicians, everyone’s doing anger management. Ariel Leve finds out why it’s all the rage

In the colossal list of things wrong with me, being an angry person has never ranked high. I am impatient, but I don’t lose my temper. I am volatile, but I don’t hit people. I get angry over something I have little control over, but quickly the anger turns into frustration. I’ll grind my teeth at night or develop a pain in my stomach, which means the frustration is immediately sidelined by worry that I might have given myself an ulcer. But then I remember I can’t afford to have an ulcer, so I am reminded that whatever I’m upset about isn’t worth it, and this, for reasons only a therapist could explain, is my form of anger management.
George Anderson has a different method. A Harvard-trained psychotherapist turned entrepreneur, he virtually invented the industry of anger management. Based in California, his clients include Hollywood studios that send their angry stars and executives to him, the Department of Defense and even the vice-president’s old company, Halliburton.

Anger is a booming business. Soon Anderson will begin selling franchises abroad. So why now? Anger has been around since the beginning of time, but behaviour that was once tolerated isn’t any more, by individuals, employers, courts and legislators.

Anderson & Anderson has become the world’s largest provider for anger-management certification and classes. When you hear about someone being ordered by the court, this is where they are sent. George Anderson also provides “executive coaching”, where he works privately with CEOs, law enforcement, movie stars — and now, me.

At the Los Angeles headquarters of Anderson & Anderson, I am given two questionnaires. One is called the “anger management map” and the second will determine my emotional intelligence. My scores will be tallied and I will meet Mr Anderson, privately, to discuss the results.

He is an affable man. He begins by making the point that anger is a secondary emotion. There is always something else that precedes the anger, and commonly it’s stress, frustration, disappointment, anxiety, shame, etc. “Anger is a normal human emotion,” he says. “Everyone experiences anger. It is only a problem when it is too intense, occurs too frequently, leads to harm of the self or others — if it leads to violence.” In other words, always?

“When you are tired, are you less patient than when you’re not?” he asks. I tell him yes. He asks if I’m more likely to be irritable. Yes. “What about when you’re hungry?” Yes, I become tense and would lean towards being less charitable to others. “So something came before the anger and it’s how you respond to it.”

This seems obvious. What came before the anger was not eating. How I responded to it? Having a sandwich. But what about a more complex emotional minefield? Rapidly, I fire off the what-ifs. “What if there is someone married to someone mentally ill? Or an alcoholic? What if there is a family member with a permanent disability?”

Anderson reiterates that you can’t change the feelings, you can only respond differently and change your behaviour. Part of this is common sense and part is emotional discipline. I have neither.

We go over my results on the emotional intelligence scoring grid. I did well in self-awareness, emotional awareness of others and creativity. But I scored abysmally low — as in the bottom range of “CAUTION” — for resilience (defined as an ability to bounce back and retain a hopefulness about the future); trust radius (the degree to which I expect people to be inherently “good” and an inclination to trust until there is reason not to) and personal power (the degree to which I believe I can meet life’s challenges). Anderson tells me the opposite of personal power is hopelessness and helplessness, and based on the results of my tests, anger is the least of my problems.

This makes sense. If I have no reason to trust, and no reason to be hopeful, then no wonder I’m not angry — I’m always prepared to be disappointed. And if anger is the result of unrealistic expectations, my expectations are so low to begin with I have nowhere to go but up. So, as I see it, scoring low in these areas is a good thing.

But Anderson isn’t convinced. As I defend my hopeless existence, I can see him begin to squirm. Hopelessness is not exactly the control mechanism that he’s advocating. The more he tries to improve my trust radius, the more sceptical I become. Just then, something occurs to me. Have I succeeded in making the guru of anger management… angry? There is a moment of silence while he stares at me. Speechless. But then he laughs. “Well, you’re from New York,” he says.

There is no scientific proof that Anderson’s anger-management training and classes work. But they can’t hurt. The real question is whether there is any long-term and significant change, since these classes are not treating the deeper issues. Shame, fear, mental illness, pathologies — all of this must be addressed in psychotherapy and counselling.

Having experienced a few hours of the executive coaching, I am invited to sit in on one of the classes. A semicircle of strangers are seated in a small room. They are breathing deeply and following instructions from a relaxation tape. It’s making me jittery. I am the only one whose eyes are not shut, so I look around. Five men, one woman.

Jessica, 21, dressed in black with dark wavy hair and blue eyes, punched a police officer. Karl needs tools to manage his stress. Richard, a soft-spoken middle-aged dad in khaki trousers and a variety of pens in his shirt pocket, was ordered to attend for 52 weeks by the court for being verbally abusive to his ex-wife. He is in week 51. Each person has brought their “anger log”, where incidents that occurred during the week are recorded and then discussed.

In this room, there are two posters on the wall. The Wheel of Destructive Interactions, and the Wheel of Constructive Interactions.

For the next two hours, one by one, episodes where anger was displayed during the week are candidly shared, and people are asked to identify the hostility, rage, avoidance, manipulation, etc, on the negative wheel, and then refer to the constructive wheel (expressing feelings, seeking compromise, stating needs, etc) to pinpoint what they would have done differently. Nobody is being told not to be angry, they are being taught skills to manage anger.

Anderson & Anderson calls the shots because there are no laws regarding anger management. The courts rely on the company to set the standards — 26 weeks is the average. For the client to gain something, he or she has to do the exercises. The stress log and anger log must be completed every day, so they learn to know in advance the situations that would stress them out — and then do something about it.

Sean Coffey, a Brit, met George Anderson after reading an article on him. His background was in psychology and he’s had various jobs, such as caddying, coaching football and running a promotion agency. He plans to open an Anderson clinic in London.

But will the British be able to speak as candidly as Americans? He tells me: “They do find it difficult to express their emotions, unless they feel aggrieved about something in particular. Ironically, the higher up the social scale one goes, and the more eloquent one would expect them to be — the less likely they are to verbalise their emotions and so it stays bottled up.”

And just as it took years for the benefits of psychology and psychiatry to filter through to Britain, Coffey fears it may be the same for anger management. “I’m not sure that British people are ready to pay for this service,” he says. “Also, admitting that one requires psychiatric or psychological assistance is seen as a sign of weakness.”

The difference between the types of anger displayed and experienced by people in Britain and in the United States has mainly to do with alcohol-related violence (the UK beats the US) and weapon-related violence (the US is the winner by far). The common ground is car-related violence, where both nations have unrealistic expectations when it comes to traffic and journey times.

Back in my hotel room and unable to sleep, I turn on the television. There is yet another form of anger management. It’s called Star Wars. And the wisdom of Yoda is undeniable. “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” That’s 52 weeks of class right there.

http://www.linkedin.com/in/geoanderson
www.andersonservices.com
www.aaamp.org
www.anger-management-resources.org

Dealing with the Anger of 9-11

The images from September 11, 2001 are forever burned in the minds most Americans.

But the anger many of us felt that day is an emotion that some folks battle on a consistent basis?

WBTV’s Lenise Ligon has the story.

——-

People get pretty angry for a lot reasons. Traffic jams, a bad day at the office, arguments over the kids and the the brutal terrorist attacks from 9/11.

After 9/11, referrals to anger management just really spiked.

It has been six years since our nation was attacked. That day our world changed forever.

Carlos Todd, of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions, says it has been especially different in his line of work as an anger management consultant.

“The reason is that stress levels get higher people get more fearful and it causes us to be uncertain,” he said.

He says you can get your anger under control three different ways: fight, flight or freeze.

Fight — look for a constructive solution.

Flight — walk away.

Or Freeze — take a step back.

After 9/11 we wanted to fight, not physically though, we went looking for answers.

But remember terrorism is not always the root cause of anger.

Todd says anger is a secondary emotion and in this case could be avoided.

“If it is too severe. If it leads to violence. All of these things are indicators that an individual has problems managing their anger.”

Who could forget the message of actor Alec Baldwin yelling at his 11-year-old daughter.

Todd says when it comes to managing your anger, sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back and think — freeze.

It is easy to say, but learning how means more than just keeping a lid on your temper.

“It is a course,” Todd explains, “it is a class, designed to teach people stress management, anger management, communications skills and emotional intelligence.”

He says he can show you the techniques, but the success depends on you.

Motivation is a real strong part of this process.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

Anger management services available in Charlotte, North Carolina. Visit www.masteringanger.com
for times and locations or call 704-804-0841.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

Anderson & Anderson Certified Anger Management are being inundated by print, television and radio personalities for appearances and interviews. George Anderson and Shannon Munford were featured in a front page article in the Daily Breeze Newspaper which appeared on Labor Day.

A therapist from Shannon’s company will appear on the premiere episode of the “Decision House” TV show on My Network TV Channel 13 at 8 p.m. Wednesday. During the episode, the counselor works with a feuding couple.

Carlos Todd was interviewed on Sept. 6, by the local CBS affiliate in Charlotte, North Carolina. Several weeks ago, he was interviewed for an article which appeared in the local news paper.

Colbert Williams, whose practice is based in Lancaster, CA. has appeared on a local talk show, interviewed for an upcoming CNN segment on anger management and was the subject of a newspaper article on workplace anger.

Gregory Kyles was contacted during the last week by the Montel Williams show.

George Anderson has been contacted by The Tyra Banks Show, Dr. Phil, MTV, ESPN, Toronto Star and the Today Show. Currently, a sitcom is in the works based on the Anderson & Anderson anger management practice.

All of this media interest and coverage is increasing the public’s awareness of anger management in general and the Anderson & Anderson model in particular.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD
www.andersonservices.com

Anger-management firms get a steady stream of clients. A therapist from one Gardena company will be on a TV show this week.

By Sandy Mazza
Staff Writer, Southbay Daily Breeze

When his girlfriend told him that her stepfather hit her, Gary raced to the man’s house to confront him.

Filled with rage, he throttled the older man until friends pulled them apart. Police were called, and Gary was arrested on suspicion of assault.

A judge sentenced him to probation and 10 anger-management counseling sessions.

Gary’s inability to control his anger may be a difficult personal struggle for him, but for the men and women who operate anger-management programs, it is part of a very profitable cottage industry.

For his sentence, Gary chose to visit Daybreak Counseling Service in Gardena. He joined five other court-appointed participants for the session.

They spent an hour talking about their anger, and the problems it created, in the warm second-floor office in downtown Gardena.

Gary said his anger problems are going to take a lot of work to fix.

“I don’t think (this class) is going to be enough,” said Gary, who didn’t give his last name. “I haven’t been able to control myself very much. … I can’t even think when I get angry. That day (during the fight), people were grabbing me. I told them I was OK just so I could leave and fight the guy again.”

Unlike domestic violence prevention programs, anger-management counseling is not regulated by any government agency. Anyone with the motivation can start a program and charge any fee.

But when people lose their temper, the man they’re most likely to deal with is George Anderson. Anderson – the founder of Anderson & Anderson Anger Management program – has a near monopoly on the county’s programs. When judges order convicted criminals to attend anger-management programs, they give them a list of programs certified by Anderson.

Anderson is a psychotherapist and an expert in domestic violence prevention and anger management. He provides counseling at offices in Lawndale and Brentwood. But the majority of his business is training other anger-management providers.

Anderson trained Shannon Munford, who then founded Daybreak Counseling Service, where he hands out Anderson’s 120-page anger-management guide, “Gaining Control of Ourselves,” to all of his clients.

Munford opened the program about six years ago, and now has five locations in the county, including the Gardena office.

A therapist from his company will appear on the premiere episode of the “Decision House” TV show on My Network TV Channel 13 at 8 p.m. Wednesday. During the episode, the counselor works with a feuding couple. The future of their relationship will be decided during the show.

At Daybreak’s Thursday meeting, clients discussed the issue affecting the couple that will appear on the TV show – how uncontrolled anger can ruin intimate relationships.

A man named Freddie said his girlfriend broke up with him after he had an outburst of rage. He was ordered to take anger-management classes by a judge because he resisted arrest when the couple were arguing.

“I had a pretty good relationship with a girl,” Freddie said. “She went bye-bye. I realized being a jerk caused it.”

While they are a steady source of clients, court-ordered patients are only part of the clientele for anger-management programs.

Businesses often require employees to get counseling after they have emotional outbursts at work, and some people sign up for classes voluntarily, Anderson said.

Munford said he treats people who have been involved in a wide range of crimes.

He has treated a man who threatened to kill a cable company customer-service worker because he was upset with his service. Munford has counseled people who have become too harsh while disciplining their children. He has worked with gang members who were caught in minor fights with rivals. And one woman was sentenced to anger-management classes for yelling at an El Camino College parking-enforcement officer who she believed was only giving out tickets to white people.

“It’s kind of a catch-all sometimes,” said Munford, who is also a county probation officer and therapist. “Anger is always there. It’s always a part of a probationer’s criminal makeup. They’re angry about something.”

Munford said anger-management counseling doesn’t necessarily change the behavior of his clients – especially those who are ordered to attend.

“It’s kind of similar to traffic school,” Munford said. “Once they complete it, they completed it. But they may get back on the road and be a bad driver.”

His clients pay a $45 registration fee and $30 per class.

Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Robert Schnider, who supervises the court’s family law division, said he believes anger-management classes rarely motivate people to change their behavior.

“I know there are people who go through it, and it’s meaningless to them,” Schnider said. “There are a lot of people who start the classes but don’t finish – 10 percent to 20percent. But then I know people whose lives are turned around by it. It depends on why you’re going and what your attitude is.”

Shanee Potter, 22, of Los Angeles, completed 14 anger-management sessions at Daybreak Counseling Service last year. She voluntarily signed up for the program after she was arrested on suspicion of stabbing her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend five times with a steak knife.

She said the class taught her ways to divert her angry thoughts and feelings.

“I just really wanted to hurt him,” Potter said. “I would think about hitting him upside the head with a frying pan. Then I would get upset when I tried to apply for a job and they denied me” because of the felony conviction for the stabbing.

“I learned that when I get upset, I just have to move on and keep trying. I try to stay busy, work out, or look for another job.”


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