ANGER ON MY MIND

Archive for November 2007

  1. Exercise
  2. Read a book
  3. Breathe deeply
  4. Talk with a friend
  5. Transferring the situation from negative to positive by self talk
  6. HALT find out if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired
  7. Take a long bubble bath
  8. Have a sexual encounter to release your endorphins
  9. Take a walk in the park
  10. Talk about the issue at hand
  11. Have a good cry
  12. Write down the pros and cons about how to deal with the situation
  13. Walk away
  14. Go to a 24 hour establishment and sit in the parking lot and review the situation
  15. Remove yourself from the situation
  16. Go shopping
  17. Go out to dinner with friends
  18. Paint your nails
  19. Work on a project in your garage
  20. Spend time with someone that is dear to you
  21. Do something special for someone else and keep it to yourself
  22. Use paint to create how you feel on paper
  23. Clean your home
  24. Mow your lawn
  25. Write a story about the situation
  26. Listen to your favorite song
  27. Take a long drive through a very scenic area
  28. Go sit by a body of water and calm down
  29. Talk about what you are angry about
  30. Identify other emotions that you are truly feeling
  31. Ask yourself what is the real reason you are angry
  32. Go to the spa
  33. Seek professional help
  34. Learn to laugh
  35. Watch a comedy
  36. Dance
  37. Go to a night club and have fun
  38. evaluate all of your current relationships
  39. evaluate how people in your life addressed anger when you were a child
  40. Find out what are appropriate and inappropriate ways to express anger
  41. Play your favorite sport
  42. Forgive the person you are angry with
  43. Practice self talk to calm down
  44. Replay in your head the positive way to deal with the situation in which you are angry
  45. Prepare one of your favorite meals
  46. Talk on the phone with someone to help you calm down
  47. Compose a story regarding the situation and develop two endings one that discusses what happens if you follow thru with your anger and one that explains what happens when you express your anger appropriately
  48. Find a place that is special to only you and go there to think
  49. Smile, the more you smile, the more difficult it is to stay angry
  50. Have a massage in your home
  51. Scream as loud as you can, then regroup
  52. Prayer
  53. Live your dreams
  54. Count to ten
  55. Anger is a secondary emotions—always find our what is driving your anger
  56. Be always aware of your emotional state
  57. Check your perception of the situation
  58. Angry thinking creates anger-transform your thoughts
  59. Anger is a normal emotion-embrace it
  60. Never follow another driver in anger
  61. Never listen to your angry self talk
  62. Be aware of your emotional state
  63. Take breaks
  64. Avoid fatigue
  65. Take responsibility for your own actions
  66. Avoid the tendency to be always right
  67. Go for a long drive
  68. Go for a long walk
  69. Reduce stress
  70. Lower your expectations
  71. Mediate
  72. Walk away— repeated because this very important but hard to do.
  73. Avoid excessive use of alcohol
  74. Talk out your problems
  75. Be prepared for life’s surprises
  76. Learn to laugh at yourself
  77. Go to anger management classes
  78. Visit www.anger-management-resources.org
  79. Visit www.masteringanger.com
  80. Improve your time management
  81. Avoid people that tend to increase your irritability
  82. Learn to communicate your needs
  83. Avoid passive aggressive behavior
  84. Improve money management
  85. You never have the right to hit someone—Never
  86. Get adequate sleep
  87. Behave at sporting events the same way you want your children to behave
  88. Stay clear of angry people
  89. Recognize that what you value or believe others may not
  90. Don’t procrastinate
  91. Be organized
  92. Don’t assume that because you said it other will do it—you are not the center of the universe
  93. Know your pet peeves
  94. Be open to the opinions of others
  95. Avoid excessive overtime
  96. Visit www.andersonservices.com
  97. Take time for yourself
  98. Visit www.ami-tx.com
  99. Compromise
  100. Remember that your needs are not always the most important
  101. Play your favorite sport
  102. Do not use illegal substances
  103. Call Carlos Todd today at 704-804-0841

This list was compiled by Delores Hamilton-Butler and Carlos Todd. They own and operate an Anger Management practice in Charlotte, North Carolina. Visit www.masteringanger.com for details or call 704-804-0841.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina   

www.masteringanger.com

www.masteringanger.org

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

The more I provide anger management services  the more I am able to  see that anger is only a signal of deeper emotional challenges. Essentially some emotional need goes unmet and anger lurks in the life of the  individual only waiting for some trigger to cause cause an explosion. The clients who I see that are committed to anger management over a long time often begin to cue in to their emotional needs an may realize that they are in the wrong career, wrong city, wrong social environment, wrong marriage our even the wrong religion. They realize that their needs for security, love and belongingness, purpose and self-esteem has been starved by their decision to do what others want instead of what they want. All along the emotional signals give them a hint that something in their lives is not fulfilling but they ignore these signals. The result is a hypervigilance, and a defensive posture that is always poised to attack–often on those they love.

The alternative is to take responsibility  for their own lives and take action to increase their emotional vocabulary, emotional intelligence and meet the needs that are often associated with anger. Taking this journey can often result not only in reduced anger but a more fulfilling life.

If you suffer with persistent anger it may be a sign that some emotional need has gone unmet. A competent anger management professional can assist in this regard. This process often cannot be completed in group anger management or fast track programs. It requires work over the long term.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina   

www.masteringanger.com

www.masteringanger.org

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

I continue to explore the issue of an emotional vocabulary. Most recently I was watching a history of man on the Discovery Channel in which the issue of language was discussed.  I was taken back to how humans use language to communicate with self and the world and more specifically the development of an emotional vocabulary.

Without self talk humans cannot fully appreciate their own emotional space. Without a strong emotional vocabulary when we are impacted by the world, all that is felt is that undifferentiated “gut feeling” that may be described as feeling good or bad. This description of our emotions however is not enough to understand and meet our emotional needs.

Building an emotional vocabulary is the first step to understanding your emotional world, meeting the specific emotional need and hence controlling anger. Anger is often the result of unmet needs but to meet theses needs we must first know what they are.

What is needed is a more differentiated set of emotions. For example one client told me that he felt stuck, not trapped. He noted that feeling stuck to him was being aware that he had options but not knowing what to choose and when to choose. Feeling trapped was to him lacking options. It is this state of differentiation of our emotions that is often helpful in teasing out what we really feeling and meeting the precise need

For more on the importance of an emotional vocabulary click here to visit my online store to take a look at my new book -Your emotional Profile.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina   

www.masteringanger.com

www.masteringanger.org

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

 

 

Anger management is a class that teaches stress management, communcation skills, emotional intelligence and anger management. Stress levels hit an all time high at this time of the year and anger is often not to far behind. The demands of work, from family members, the strain on finances and the constant flurry of decision making can cause anger to get out of control. Although one cannot change the demands of the season, one can learn valuable skills that will help reduce the conflict. Here are a few tips

  • Manage your time well
  • Set financial goals
  • Have an open discussion with your family about where the holidays will be spent
  • Be willing to compromise
  • Be aware that long shopping trips can be exhausting and may add to irritability and arguments
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously
  • Designate a shopping day for the kids and one for the adults of the family
  • Shop online
  • Buy gift certificates–this will save you a lot of time
  • Don’t forget to get a pet sitter well in advance of your trips

Happy holidays from Todd’s Anger management Solutions

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina

www.masteringanger.com

www.masteringanger.org

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

In the last six months our readership has steadily increased and we are happy to be part of a movement to bring positive information about anger management to the internet. Thanks readers and we hope that this Thanksgiving will be a peaceful time spent with family and friends.

Carlos Todd,LPC, NCC, CAMF

www.masteringanger.com

Anger is a serious problem that tends to envelop those who are considering divorce or who are divorcing. Across the country some certified providers of anger management are using their skill not necessarily to stop the divorce but to help couples go through the divorce process with less conflict.  Less conflict has a monetary value because the ability to resolve matters easily can mean  a reduction of thousands or maybe tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees.

Some individuals have also been seeking anger management to manage conflict to save their own marriage. To find an anger management provider in your area visit www.anger-management-resources.org

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina   

www.masteringanger.com

www.masteringanger.org

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

Anger management is a very forward focused class that teaches skills in anger management, stress management, communication skills and emotional intelligence. Some still carry the idea that anger management is for the court mandated or those who have been explosive in the recent past. This is simply a misconception.

Anger is a signal, therefore it is important that those who carry hostility or anger work with a professional anger management provider to determine what actions must be taken to respond to the signals instead of lashing out in anger at others. Therefore anger management may be appropriate for any individual or organization where the presenting problem is anger. It may be sign of increasing stress, poor emotional intelligence, poor communication skills or a combination of any or all of those factors. Anger management is therefore appropriate for:

  • Couples
  • Executives
  • Physicians
  • Individuals seeking self improvement
  • Court mandated
  • Those who are being treated by a mental health professionals but need further assistance to manage anger (this treatment must be combined)
  • Schools
  • Small and large businesses
  • Conflict resolution
  • Mediation
  • Adolescents
  • Jails or correctional institutions
  • Human resource professionals
  • Conduction anger management assessments

Anger management is a class that teaches skills not a mental health intervention. It is my hope that those who struggle with anger or know someone who struggles with anger will not choose to call the anger management provider because they are fearful that they will have to sit with a group of hardened criminals. This is simply not the case. Anger management providers across the country do offer private and group interventions, so rest assured that they will be able to facilitate your needs. Some may even visit your home or office. Visit www.anger-management-resources-org to find a provider in your area.

NB-Please note that anger management is not appropriate for those charged with domestic violence.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Anger Management/Executive Coaching of Charlotte, North Carolina

www.masteringanger.com

www.angeronmymind.com

www.aaamp.org

 

 


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