ANGER ON MY MIND

Rules for responding to angry emails–Before you hit SEND

Posted on: July 10, 2008

Email can be a troublesome communication tool. The meaning of the words can be interpreted and lead to angry responses. This misinterpretation can often result the persons communicating do not have the benefit of body language and voice tone–consider that some studies suggest that body language make up for as much as 80% of communication. Here are a few rules of engagement for dealing with emails that evoke feelings of anger or have been sent in anger;

  • Don’t respond immediately
  • Offer to meet the person and talk face to face–constant emails back and forth can make a bad situation worst
  • Talk the email over with a trusted friend or neutral party before you respond
  • Never, Never, Never use offensive language in emails. Remember that information on the internet even when deleted that be retrieved
  • Always use “I statement” as apposed to accusatory. For example “I felt confused by your remarks,” as apposed to, “You are a @@#$$@#$$.
  • Use the responding email to ask for clarification instead of jumping the gun.

These are just a few suggestions. Most of all we should be respectful of each other. Much more about how to communicate effectively can be found in an anger management class.

Carlos Todd, LPC

President, Conflict Coaching and Consulting, PLLC

www.masteringanger.com

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4 Responses to "Rules for responding to angry emails–Before you hit SEND"

These tips are a great reminder for those of us who use e-mail for work. It is important to be tactful in responding to a “heated” e-mail, and not get caught up in the negative energy.

i think you left out a word in this line…

“Never, Never, Never use offensive language in emails. Remember that information on the internet even when deleted that be retrieved “

[…] on My Mind,” the fittingly named blog of a North Carolina-based conflict management organization, suggests, “Offer to meet the […]

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