Archive for January 2010

The next time you are in a conversation with someone; do not try to take the reigns. Be very mindful of this throughout the conversation and allow the other person to direct the way that the conversation goes. After the conversation is over and you find that the world is still spinning on its axis, you will realize that you do not need to have control over every conversation and situation.

When you look for control in all communication, you are essentially telling the other person that you have no respect for their feelings or opinions and those things will be best if you just remain in charge. This negative communication affects everyone in a poor manner. If you continue to converse in this manner, you will find that people will not want to converse with you unless they have to. Your company may be sought out at work – if you are the boss, but for the most part, you will not be a very effective leader. You will probably also suffer from problems with all relationships.

Is there any time that you should avoid conflict? There are circumstances when you are better off to allow the conflict to diffuse itself, instead of trying to do this yourself.  We all want to eliminate conflict in our lives or at least keep it to a minimum. No one likes conflict and most of us want to be better able to deal with the daily occurrences of conflict in our every day lives.  But what happens when the conflict is so intense that is it not something that you can do anything about? There are some cases when you should wait until the storm blows over before you address the conflict.One warning sign that you should avoid the conflict is if the other person is violent or is exhibiting violent behavior. Someone who is this conflicted and angry needs help – but not yours. You cannot control everything that happens in life and situations where another person is violent.. In such a case, you are better off to step out of their way and allow them to calm down before you address the conflict. 

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It is often said that a person with manners never lets another person feel bad about themselves. Everyone deserves respect, yet some people are under the misconception that others deserve it more. The person who is sweeping up the street is a human being who deserves the same respect as the president of the United States, but he is not going to get it, despite the fact that both men, as they say, put their pants on in the same way. Both are mortal and neither can escape death. The impact that the president has on others is apparent. The impact the street sweeper has is not apparent, but is still there. Each person’s life has value and impacts other’s lives. Everyone deserves respect.

Often, when we have a conflict with another individual, we will be tempted to try to diminish their sense of self worth by showing them little or no respect. Do you think that this is a healthy way to resolve conflict?

One of the first things you want to do when you find yourself involved in a conflict with another individual is to acknowledge the fact that this other individual is a real life human being and deserves respect. Think about the times when you felt that you were not shown proper respect from others. How did it make you feel? Would you be more inclined to resolve an issue with someone who showed you respect or someone who treated you with disdain?

Naturally you would be more inclined to want to resolve an issue with someone who treated you with respect. Anyone would say this. But how do we resolve a conflict, make sure that our needs are met and still show respect to another individual?

Whether you are in a business environment or personal situation, showing respect towards other people is crucial if you are to have good communication skills, be able to resolve conflict and be emotionally competent.


January 2010
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