Archive for September 2008

Millions of people worldwide live with the daily frustration, agitation, fear, anger and discouragement of being stuck in a job or career position where they feel stifled, stagnated and suffocated. A career position that does not exhibit any signs of upward growth in the form of more challenging assignments, more responsibilities, a hefty salary or positive prospects of a promotion can make you feel desperate, agonized and helpless. The pain of this victim-hood and not knowing what to do next leads to anger and more anger. In order to amputate this spiral of going nowhere you must take drastic steps instantly before you have a nervous breakdown. If you feel that there is more to this but you are sure of how to go to the next level, discuss the issue with a trustworthy colleague or friend. Don’t indulge in negative self talk as it will make the situation worse. Deep down you know and feel that you can do better, be happier and also be more successful. In case of such a situation, before anger and frustration reign over your commonsense and power to think rationally, you must resign form your current job and move on.

You must tell yourself that tomorrow is going to be different and you too will have the chance to bask in the glory of success and gratitude. Make a conscious effort to reflect, do the right thing and sincerely trust your gut feelings. It doesn’t seem fruitful to stay back in the same company year after year if your feelings of anger and resesentment are going to persist and grow more intense. It’s pretty obvious that your old days are not working and now it’s not a matter of staying up late, getting in earlier or putting in more hours of hard work. If your job is not allowing you to flourish and blossom and you feel stuck in it, its time you make mature decision and move on. You can probably take a short holiday that will help you to heal and cure grief and trauma before you kick start your new job

Carlos Todd, LPC


Communication at work is generally of 4 types:

1. Passive communication

2. Aggressive communication

3.Passive aggressive communication

4. Assertive communication
Passive communication is a style whereby an employee operates from the backbench, tends to avoid conflicts and stays away from the risk of upsetting his/her colleagues. It results in lose-win situation and brings about feelings of victimization and loss of control. However an aggressive person uses his power, control and intimidation to get his needs met. He is disrespectful and hurtful towards others and emphasizes on a win-lose situation. However a passive aggressive person incorporates elements from both the previous mentioned styles. He tends to be more forgetful, procrastinates  and intentional inefficiency. He cannot be direct in his communication with others and makes excuses for his inefficiency. Passive aggressive behavior is nothing else but simply indirect aggression. You can avoid this kind of behavior in your workplace by speaking up and speaking out. If you let the passive aggressive person know that you will not be manipulated this time, then you can stop him from scheming.

Always be calm with a passive aggressive person and refute him with power phrases like ‘that sounded sarcastic .did you mean that?’ passive aggressive individuals are back stabbers in the literal sense. They can make difficult for you while pretending that nothing is going wrong. Always have witnesses in case of discussions with a passive aggressive person. He is likely to deny an incident when someone other than you can stand for its occurrence. Also keep all the work with the passive aggressive person in writing. This will safeguard your interests and deter him from proving you incompetent. You may not be able to change such a person but can protect yourself by using strategies and reducing your dependence on this individual.

Carlos Todd, LPC

Do you need to know if you have an ANGER PROBLEM. Click on this link for for a free anger management assessment.

Carlos Todd, LPC

Coming soon Conflict Coaching & Consulting, PLLC will be introducing a series of anger and conflict management online courses in emotional competence, managing stress, communication skills, resiliency, negotiation and conflict styles. These courses will serve the needs of those who want to learn more about anger and conflict management. Our company will also introduce a series of CD’s, DVDs and other products on conflict management.

Carlos Todd, LPC


What could you do with eight hours? We recommend you use it to take our fast-track anger management class. Sessions held in our Charlotte, North Carolina office. Please call 704.804.0841 for details.



 Click Here for class schedule in Charlotte, North Carolina

To request a seat in our class Click Here

Each participant  will recieve a computer based anger management assessment, a certificate of completion and our new workbook–Anger & Conflict 101: 6 Simple Tools to Master Anger. Conflict Coaching & Consulting, PLLC staff presents interactive Sunday class in our state of the art offices. This class usually has up to eight participants including our off-site clients. Participants include business owners, husbands, wives, executives, students, nurses and many other individuals from all walks of life.

An organized workspace means you will be more productive and increased productivity means that you will thoroughly enjoy what you are doing also spend more time pursuing it. This will fetch you a hell amount of money and you will feel happy and satiated at the end of the day. You will take less time to locating lost papers and missing files. And this is how you jubilant you are going to be in office, then voila! Stress and anger will stay miles away from you.

If you are organized and your desk doesn’t look like a disaster, them I guess you will be amazed at how much you can accomplish in a single day. Successful in a job means being organized in time as well as physically disciplined. Always keep your workspace clear for the task at hand and throw out everything unnecessary. This will help you to complete the job in time, meeting tight deadlines and thus keeping your boss in all praises and your mind and body both stress free too. Also try not keeping piles of useless paper copies when they already exist electronically. Unnecessary papers can clutter up the desk; make your work space look like a trash can and also make it impossible to locate the most important document when needed immediately. This leads to anger, irritation and anxiety. Keep all the footnotes in an organized manner so that they are handy and can be located without disrupting anything else. Have a way to let people know that you are not to be disturbed at a required time. Don’t overuse your authority but still be assertive and serious in your terms. Getting organized may seem overwhelming but if you schedule sufficient time to doe it, get the required supplies and maintain a good filing system, then nothing is impossible. If your workspace is not messy, then the next time you walk into it, you will feel energetic, rejuvenated and stress free.

Carlos Todd, LPC

Emotional intelligence is an important feature for you career graph and helps to create abilities that will improve your worth and foothold in the company. Emotional intelligence is quite different from intelligent quotient (IQ). The emotional intelligence skills (EI) are generally not measured by expertise tests or standard intelligence. Workers with better EI skills have better advantage when compared to highly intelligent people who are moody and have temper tantrums.

Possessing EI skills can sometimes be everything for reaching success and the top of any career ladder. However EI also does not mean being ‘nice’ or giving free reign to your feelings. EI helps to build leadership skills and competencies. It helps to build cohesive teams at all levels in the organization. EI helps an individual leader to comprehend his purpose and how it aligns with the company’s vision. The emotionally intelligent or competent persons are those who have the potential to identify their own and someone else’s emotions and feelings better, a person who utilizes these emotions and feelings in a constructive thought process better than others, a person who can sense someone else’s complex feelings that he wishes to conceal and a person who can crack a joke and cheering his team by saying the right thing at the right time. An emotionally intelligent person will steer the boat to the light house rather than letting it sail aimlessly. An emotionally intelligent employee or coworker will be both intelligent and accessible, will be around to listen and give a constructive feedback. An emotional intelligent employee is every employers dream to hire.

Carlos Todd, LPC

September 2008
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